Muž veľmi nenávidí mačku svojej ženy, preto sa rozhodne, že sa jej zbaví. Vloží ju do auta, odíde o 10 ulíc ďalej, tam ju vyloží v parku a vráti sa domov. Len čo dojde ku bráne,vidí že mačka pohodlne kráča po schodoch. Na druhý deň ju vezme o 30 ulíc ďalej, ale kým sa vráti domov, mačka je už tam. Nasledovný deň ju odvezie o 30 kilometrov ďalej, odbočia na hradskú, potom ešte na vedľajšej ceste jazdí hore-dolu aspoň 10kilometrov. Tam vojde do lesa a mačku vyhodí. O niekoľko hodín zvoní manželkin telefón:
Marka, je doma mačka?
Áno je.
Daj jej, prosím ťa, telefón, zablúdil som a chcem sa jej opýtať na spitočnú cestu!
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Dve mačky sedia na streche. Ozve sa jedna:
Ty by si čo chcela na Vianoce?
Druhá odpovie:
Véééľa mačiatok.
Ozve sa druhá:
A ty?
Aj ja chcem véééľa mačiatok.
Zozadu sa ozve kocúr:
Haló, prišiel Mikuláš!
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V škole sa pani učiteľka pýta detí, kto je poverčivý.
Deti, kto sa bojí čiernej mačky?
Móricko vyskočí z lavice:
No predsa myši!
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-Pani veľmi ľutujem, ale zrazil som Vašu mačku.
Chcel by som Vám to nejako vynahradiť.
- Žiaden problém, ale viete chytať myši?
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Sú dve hodiny ráno. Na telefonickej linke sa ozve rozrušený ženský hlas.
Pán doktor, povedzte, čo mám robiť: na streche sa mačky milujú s takým lomozom, že obyvatelia okolia nemožu spať.
Zavolajte ku telefónu svoju mačku!
Myslíte, že potom prestanú?!
Nuž, ja som už prestal!
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Radosť s úspechu
Manželka svojmu manželovi:
Ocík, predstav si, aká je táto múdra mačka! Naučila som ju, aby vykonala svoju veľkú potrebu na WC na novinovom papieri.
Hmm... potom ju ešte nauč, aby počkala, kým si tie noviny prečítam.
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